warrin with an i

how i went from why am i here to how did i get here: -    it was like 4 gazillion years ago and i was doing my best to not get caught up in the grind but then one day i'm hangin' with this silly valley geek set - it was all weird and stuff, i mean what's a wannabee counter-culture dude from waspville doing in the mother of all high tech suburbs? - but then i spied this xtra cute kinda back to the earth blondie fresh outa Santa Cruz and I says 'hey this is way cosmic, what kina sh*t was i doing this morning anyway" - and so i think what the f#$% 'nd jump on - next thing i know this same blonde chic forces a beer down me and says she's gotta a couch that's callin' my name and hers and then when i come down off that trip i am hangin out in suburbia city, blondie's bringin' home the salmon, and the music my parents used to listen to is invading my music collection - i take inventory only to find i'm like stable, with a day-...

1969 – AWOL – Part 2 – The Return I was AWOL and had caught an evening Trailways bus from Biloxi to Valparaiso. I arrived early the next morning. Donna was surprised but happy to see me. I can still recall the joy and relief I felt when I saw her. She was living in university housing. It was an old building that had just a few residences, but men were not permitted to stay in the women's residences. We spent the whole day together but at night I had to stay with one of my friends. Donna and I did not have much money but we decided to splurge and get a hotel room for the next couple of nights. We spent the next few days together and then did some LSD the afternoon before I planned to return to the base. A lot of emotions I had been holding in came out. I was holding on to more than I realized. It was cathartic, it really was. I'd been heading down an unhealthy path. I think Donna was a little surprised how deeply effected I was by my decision to enlist. ...

1969 – Going AWOL - Part 1 After about 4 or 5 months in the Air Force my method of dealing with my situation, shutting down, was wearing on me. I was missing Donna. At this time in my life Donna was about the only person who I felt connected to. Of course my parents were trying to support me but we were at odds and I didn't feel at the time that they understood my views or supported my decisions. I was needing to find someplace I could let myself out. I wanted to not be in the Air Force for a few days. I had been trying to cope by keeping myself locked away and the world around me at a distance. I was trying to just get through each day without doing too much thinking like I had through basic training. I was insulating myself from what was going on around me as a result, I was feeling isolated. I was putting myself on hold, kind of not living my life but rather watching it and to some extent trying to ignore it. I was feeling empty and sadly trying to stay that ...