The Cats, a Dog, and a Regret:
Cats and Dogs are the most common household pets and they are both used in a number of our idioms. The literal English translation for Los Gatos is “The Cats”. That name may make you think of the animal but for me because I read it as “The Cats” and not just plain “Cats” I think of the expression “The Cats” that Barney Fife, from the Andy Griffith show, used to describe his girlfriend Thelma Lou. “The Cats” is a sort of 50's truncated version of the “Cat's Pajamas” from the '20's or possibly from another like kind expression like “The Cat's Meow”. I had always liked Los Gatos and thought of it as being a pretty “cool” place. Tucked up against the east side of the Santa Cruz Mountains next to the highway that heads over to Santa Cruz it has a bit of a Bohemian vibe. Maybe not compared to places like Boulder Creek or Ben Lomond, but there's a clear difference when compared to the nearby Silicon Valley towns Campbell, Cupertino, and Sunnyvale where I was living.
I was sharing a house with my brother, Pete, and his friend Frank. The three of us along with a friend of mine from Tymshare, Jack, and a friend of Pete's, Kevin began to hang out regularly together. I was working at Tymshare which was right up the road in Cupertino. I was ready to find a place just for me and my dog Nyshia. I like living alone plus at the time I had a girlfriend, Karen, who I was seeing a lot. San Francisco was out of the question as it would to be too long of a commute so I focused on Los Gatos. I found a small apartment on the northeast side of town. It looked like it may have once been a barn-like storage facility for a farm but it was not big enough to have been a barn. It was a squared off U-shaped building with two sides of the U converted into separate apartments. The middle part, what would be the bottom part of the U, was still just a storage area. The building was now a sort of duplex with the look and feel of a small barn with a few windows. The two apartments were rather rustic. The floor coverings were a wall-to-wall straw like weaved mat. My side had two rooms, a kitchen and a living area with a bathroom of course. The apartment across the way was slightly larger as it also included a bedroom. There was a large front yard with a wide gravel driveway that ran up the middle of the property from the street and extended to the back end of the U. There was a fence behind the building and along both sides of the property. The building was set back from the road so there was a large front yard which was great for Nyshia. There was no fence in the front of the property but that was not a problem as Nyshia was not a roamer and she would stay on the property.
Being single again I was going out frequently either with Karen or with my brother and our friends. After a couple of years where I felt restricted, I was all too willing to join in social activities again. There were days where I would leave the apartment at 7AM come home to feed Nyshia almost 12 hours later and then go out again until after midnight. I was selfishly being negligent. As a result, Nyshia was on her own during the week except for dinner time and at night when I came home to go to sleep. At this point we'd been together for almost 7 years. She was well trained and required little other than food and attention. I made sure she got fed but I was not holding up my part of the bargain in regards to attention.
A young couple lived in the other apartment across the gravel driveway from me. He worked but she was home during the day and was expecting their first child very soon. They took to Nyshia right away especially her. When my neighbor and I were at work, Nyshia would often hang out with her, even voluntarily going with her on walks. Nyshia loved babies and kids and once their child was born Nyshia spent even more time with mom and the baby. With me working a lot and often going out in the evening, I was neglecting my dog so Nyshia being able to hang out with my neighbor worked out well for both me and Nyshia. In moving to Los Gatos I hadn't thought about what that would mean for Nyshia. In Sunnyvale I had two roommates and there was a dog next door for her to socialize with. There were others around for Nyshia as everyone liked her. She got attention from everyone at the house including the guests, plus our group of friends tended to congregate at our Sunnyvale house where Nyshia was. Now she was in Los Gatos but I was still often hanging out in Sunnyvale with the guys leaving Nyshia stuck by herself at my apartment.
Well, I came home from work a little early one day, only to find that Nyshia was not there to greet me. She would always greet me by coming right up to the door of my car when I arrived home. I searched the yard and the apartment and she was nowhere to be found. I knocked on the door of the apartment across the way but there was no answer. I then proceeded to walk around the neighborhood looking for her with no luck. I became very worried. I couldn't sleep that night. The next morning I called the pound, and the SPCA with no luck. After another day of no Nyshia I took a trip to the county animal control center to look at the DOA for animals. I did this for about a week and then Friday when I drove up to my apartment, there was Nyshia. I was ecstatic and she seemed doubly glad to see me. We played, went for a long walk after which I fed her and we settled in the apartment as I listened to some music. I stayed home that night and the next couple as well.
That weekend I took Nyshia up to the mountains to play in the snow. Karen and I had recently broken up and it wasn't long before I started going out in the evenings again and I started to fall back into the same pattern I had been following before. A couple of weeks later I came home one night and again there was no Nyshia. My neighbor across the way came out and said he hadn't seen her and also said now that they had a child they were moving to a new place. I canvassed the neighborhood knocking on doors to no avail. The next day, Saturday morning, I had an early softball game which I went to but I returned home right after. My neighbor, the guy, was just packing up their last load. I offered to help as it was just him but he said he only had a few items left to move and he was on his way to see our landlord to drop off the keys. I canvassed the neighborhood again for Nyshia. I made signs and posted them all over town. I again started making daily calls to the pound and checking the animal DOA lists. I did this for weeks. At first when looking at the DOA list I hoped I would not see any dogs fitting Nyshia's description but after a couple of weeks a part of me hoped I might see her there as at least then I'd have an answer. I hated that I was having those feelings but I was becoming dispirited and desperate for some resolution.
I continued searching for a couple of months without any luck. It was just too depressing returning each day to my Los Gatos apartment. I was heartbroken. It was too hard to keep living there. Los Gatos stopped being a cool place for me. I had to get out, so I found an apartment in a complex right next to the Tymshare building where I still worked. It was a large complex but my commute to the office was now just a walk across the property out the back gate which opened up to the Tymshare parking lot.
Losing Nyshia is probably my biggest regret and it was all my fault. I completely let her down. It's, at least on a conscious level, the thing I feel most guilty about in my life. There's a sadness in me that is always there whenever I think of her, in fact there are tears in my eyes as I write this. I still have trouble reconciling what a colossal failure I was in regards to her and I have yet to forgive myself.
Looking back, do I think the couple who lived across from me took her? At the time I was so distraught and so busy trying to find her that it did not occur to me. They were a nice young couple and were very friendly to me. But, in hindsight I do think that's what happened. It's not OK to take someone's dog but as I sit here today, I hope it is true for as at least then Nyshia would have landed in a good home.
These days whenever I drive past Los Gatos, usually on the way to Santa Cruz, seeing the town sign always hurts a little. On a more positive note, that experience helps me to stay humble and forgive others who behave badly as we are all human and under the right circumstances I am them and they are me, and I am no better than anyone else. Someday maybe I'll forgive myself too....
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