Kyoko DHE – Dental Hygienist Extraordinaire

Kyoko DHE – Dental Hygienist Extraordinaire

Kyoko has been my dental hygienist for the last 20 or so years. This is my story on finding her and how she became so important to me that I feel compelled to write a story about her. I know it probably seems a bit of a reach that I would write about my dental hygienist but hopefully that will become more clear to you after reading this.

For a long time I had an on again, off again relationship with the dentist office. From the time I got out of the Air Force in 1972 until somewhere around 1980 I had no relationship at all. During that period, I not only did not see a dentist, I also did not see any kind of doctor, the only exception was when I broke my arm playing basketball. In 1980 I finally gave in and decided to see a dentist. I found a dentist I liked in San Jose, but I can't remember his name. When I select a dentist it's always very important that they have a good dental hygienist and by good I mean someone who will work well with me, and just as importantly, someone I like. I really liked Dr. I-can't-remember-his-name and, probably more importantly, I really liked one of the hygienists working at his office.

In 1988 I married Kris and we moved to Sacramento. That meant I was now without a dentist again as San Jose was just too far away for dental visits. I let a couple of years go by but eventually I found a new dentist I liked. He had an office in Diamond Springs. I was working in Placerville at the time so although Diamond Springs was a long way from my home it was close to work, so it worked out. I can't remember his name either. He had a hygienist that I didn't care for. I just got a bad feeling about her. But, he had another one that I did like. Of course, it helped that I had tried the “bad” one first. Lucky for me the hygienist I didn't like soon left the office.

While I was with Dr. I-can't-remember-his-name-#2, I was told I would need some work done from a periodontist and I was referred to Dr.Carson. Dr. Carson told me if I didn't start taking better care of my teeth I was going to lose them before I was 60. He recommended I do a number of deep cleanings at his office. Let me start by saying that I did like Dr. Carson. The problem was his hygienist. I was scheduled for 4 deep cleaning services. The hygienist I had for my first deep cleaning session was interesting and friendly. She began working on my teeth. At this point my gums bled relatively easily. They would bleed in a couple of places even in a standard cleaning. At one point the hygienist stopped and told me I could solve my bleeding issues by taking a toothpick and lighting one end with a match. I should let it burn for a few seconds. Then I should blow it out and take the hot end and stick it into my gums where they bleed. I guess it was a sort of a self cauterize procedure. In my head I was thinking “Who is this person?” but I just looked at her and grunted a superficial “U huh”.

My next session was with a different hygienist. “Ut-oh”, she was that hygienist from my dentist office who I didn't care for. I was already there so, although my gut told me to leave, I stayed and got into the chair. She was all business and rather cold towards me. She got to work and was soon inflicting pain with her little dental tools in multiple places in my mouth. I started making sounds, the best I could with having someone's hand in my mouth. I wanted her to stop for a moment. She was not to be denied and ignored my attempts to get her attention. She didn't even ease up. I think she may have been enjoying herself. I had had enough so I finally reached up and grabbed her arm. I pulled her hand, and the torture tool she was using, out of my mouth. I firmly told her that when I make sounds like the ones I was making she needed to pull back and stop for a moment. She clearly did not agree as her eyes got wide and I think she wanted to slug me as she was clearly offended. I don't remember, but I think I finished the session with her. What I do remember was when I got back into my car I realized that not only was the session upsetting but it was a frightening experience, one that I did not wish to repeat. I went back in and canceled all my subsequent appointments and then left. It was about this time that Dr. I-can't-remember-his-name-#2 closed his practice and left for Idaho. Not only had I quit my periodontist but now I was without a regular dentist again.

So again I didn't see any dentists for a couple of years. I was talking with my brother-in-law's wife Donna about how I needed to find a new dentist but they had to have a good hygienist I could live with. Donna had had similar apprehensions when it came to hygienists and she started telling about a hygienist she had found. Her name was Kyoko and she worked in Dr. Potter's office. Donna couldn't say enough good things and was very sympathetic to all my concerns. So I called Dr Potter's office and made an appointment and that's when I met Kyoko. Kyoko is a caring person, with an engaging personality. She also has a wonderful sense of humor. I liked her immediately. I don't know how she did it but she made it an enjoyable experience to get my teeth cleaned with her. Plus, it turned out that I liked Dr. Potter as well.

That was over 20 years ago. Over the years Kyoko and I have shared stories about our lives and shared thousands of laughs. I have told Kyoko more than once that I need her to tell me if she was going to leave because while I liked Dr. Potter, she was the reason I was there. Teeth cleaning appointments used to be something I dreaded and now they were enjoyable. It felt more like meeting a friend for coffee or something. Thanks to Kyoko, while I do have a few implants I still have most of my teeth left today. Dr' Potter retired a few years back and was replaced by Dr. Knutson. Luckily Kyoko stayed and so I adopted Dr. Knutson as my dentist.

The years kept flying by and everything was going well until last week when I learned that Kyoko had left Dr. Knutson's office. My wife found out about it from her brother. (His wife Donna was the one who had told me about Kyoko in the first place.) When Kris told me Kyoko was gone it hit me hard. I always knew that I was going to be sad when Kyoko was gone but I had no idea how upset it would actually make me. I am also seeing a periodontist and, while not Kyoko, I do like the hygienist there. So it's not like I can't find a hygienist I can live with. I realized the loss was more to me than that. All those years of talking about our lives, joking around, if you know me, you know how much I like to do that, it hit me that, for me, we had built up a friendship, a friendship that was important to me. I am an introvert, a social introvert, so I am told, but an introvert nonetheless. I don't connect with a lot of people but when I do they become special to me. This may all sound silly given that our entire relationship consisted solely of hour sessions where I am mostly laying in the chair with my mouth open while Kyoko is removing tartar from my teeth but with Kyoko it felt like so much more than that. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this as she is someone who has a talent for making people relax and feel special. I can't really express just how special Kyoko is as a person, all I know is that Kyoko is a DHE and she is special to me. What I realize is I didn't just lose a hygienist, I lost a valued friendship. It happened suddenly, without warning and it hurt. All that being said, I feel lucky to have had that friendship and been under Kyoko's care for all these years.

Epilogue: I have since gotten in contact with Kyoko. I wrote her a letter and we have texted back and forth a few times. I am feeling better. She is now working with a Dentist in Roseville. I had always planned to change my dentist when she was gone to someone downtown, close to where I live, as I am in my 70's and would like to have a dentist closer to home. Roseville is even further from me than Knutson's office in Fair Oaks. I am going to have to live with a hygienist who is not Kyoko someday but I can put that day off for awhile if I'm willing to travel. I guess I have a decision to make.