From a Schefflera to an Other Guy
Heidi and I were living in San Francisco together in the Richmond District. That meant that her friends became mine and mine hers. The thing is I have always tended to keep more to myself and keep or interact with only a few friends at any given time. I don't meet a lot of people or make new friends easily. So when I am in a relationship I often get new friends through my girlfriend, as my girlfriends tend to be more social than me. This was true with Heidi. I only had a few friends who actually lived in the city at this point, but just about all of Heidi's friends lived in the city. Heck she grew up there and always lived there except for the time she spent attending Chico State. We did things with some of her long time friends as well as her friends from The Recreation Center for the Handicapped (The Rec Center), where she worked. The Rec Center, a nonprofit organization, employees were really more my kind of people meaning they were more counter-culture in nature and generally had a more of a bohemian vibe. My employment since I moved to the Bay Area had been in IT companies down in Silicon Valley, but I saw myself more like those at The Rec Center than my own co-workers. I always felt more like a visitor while working in those IT for profit companies.
As I began to meet Heidi's co-workers they became my friends too. It helped that they lived in or close to the city. I made a few friends at my work but they lived down the peninsula. Heidi and I started to socialize with The Rec Center folks on my off time. I had been in the Bay Area for awhile now. A number of my friends had come and gone but still between my few SF friends, a few friends from various jobs, friends through my brother, and now Heidi I had, for me, a large number of friends. Really, I now had more friends that I had time for. In general I saw my work friends during the week and my city friends on the weekends. Heidi still regularly saw her friends in the city who she'd grown up with, particularly, Maureen and Sue. I often did not participate in activities with them and when I did it was generally with Sue. Together, we mostly socialized with my city friends or Heidi's friends from the Rec Center, which were Becky and her husband Tony, Dan, Rita, Betsy and a few others.
Even though I now lived in the city, I continued to play softball down in San Jose with the Scheffleras. I really enjoyed playing with the Scheffleras. I had been playing with them for a few of years and I liked the guys on the team. The guys on that team had always been considerably more serious about playing than I was. Almost all of the other guys on that team played on multiple teams, playing multiple times a week. Me, once a week was enough. Leon, our leader, would also enter us in tournaments attempting to get us qualified for the state tournament. There are a few different ways to qualify and winning a sanctioned tournament was one of them. The tournaments were often out of town requiring us to find lodging. We would travel as a team the evening before, rent some cheap motel rooms, and pack as many guys into each room as we could to keep expenses down as money was tight for most the players on the team. I didn't always go on the weekend tournaments but my experience was that there was a lot of “partying” in the evening. As a result we were typically a little sluggish early in the day and as a consequence, we would frequently lose the first or second game. Losing early was always trouble in the sense that losing would mean moving to the losers bracket where we would have to crawl back into contention while being one loss from elimination. Playing in the losers bracket was a longer road to the top as it required you to play more games. I know that by the 4th, if not the 3rd, game I started losing interest. I remember thinking that while it will be great to win, losing would mean we wouldn't have to play again, which had it's own appeal, plus we could then go home. These tournaments were usually in places like Modesto or Yuba City, not exactly places one would choose to visit. I am pretty sure I am the only one who had these kind of thoughts. The rest would be bummed if they lost, they hated losing. I wanted to win but I mostly just enjoyed the playing and by game 4 the enjoyment of playing was waning for me. I was the oldest player on the team by a few years, but I'm not sure that had anything to do with it. The point is I liked softball but my softball threshold was on the short side in comparison to my teammates. We qualified a couple of times to play in the State Tournament, one time it was in Sacramento, but I don't recall us getting past the first day when I was playing with them.
Some of the guys at the The Rec Center started up a softball team playing in the city. I decided to join them and say goodbye to the Scheffleras. It was a long way down to San Jose and I didn't want to keep doing that drive to play softball every weekend. I already had stopped playing the out of town tournaments plus, I was also no longer making it to most of the practices. It wasn't an easy decision as that also meant basically leaving friends who'd I been playing softball with for awhile. But, I was now in SF and it was time for me to move on.
Tony had told me about The Rec Center team He didn't work there but his wife, Becky, did. Ken, who did work there, was the organizer and coach. I knew who he was but I didn't really know him at that point. When I joined the team I think I only knew a few of the guys. Ken named us “The Other Guys”. That actually worked out one time when I got to one of our games a little early one day. Someone asked me if I was on the such and such team. I replied that “No, I was on the Other Guys team”. They then asked the name of my team and I again said “The Other Guys.” But they took my reply to be a question and replied “Yes, What's the name of your team” Again I replied “The Other Guys” They just looked at me. I finally said “The Other Guys is the name of our team.” It was kind of a mini “Who's On First” routine. I was the team's pitcher. This team didn't quite have the talent level of the San Jose team but we had a number of very good players, Ken and Tony among them. There were a bunch of guys who were all pretty similar in ability, each of use having our own strengths and weaknesses. Unlike my previous team, we had just a couple of practices a year. The Other Guys were a fun bunch to play with and everyone was very supportive of each other. Ken was very organized and kept things loose. Like all teams that start up we didn't do too well the first season and the few, whose skill level was somewhat less than the rest of the group, drifted off the team and soon we were a fairly competent team and started to do better. I'm sure Ken knows but my memory was we were consistently one of the stronger teams but not a league champion. The thing is that people who work at places like The Recreation Center for the Handicapped “ tend to be by nature more sympathetic and empathetic. The Scheffleras played with an edge. They were focused and games could get tense. The Other Guys were more easy going and relaxed. I enjoyed the change, as winning was never the end all be all for me. I played to win but the enjoyment was in the playing more than in the result. ( Does that make me un-American, or worse a Commie?) For me the competition was within myself. Maybe my wife Kris is right when she says that I'm all about me. She says it like it's an bad thing. I am, in fact, 12 generation American and focusing on the individual, namely me, seems awfully American to me, so maybe I'm not a commie after all... Although I may be a bit of a socialist as I do collect Social Security and enjoy the benefits of Medicare, but even Republicans will say they support Social Security. They just don't want to have to send me the money. Maybe I should give them a break, paying our bills is not exactly fun for most of us.
After I left the Scheffleras, they not only got to the 2nd day of the state tournament, they ended up finishing something like 4th . All without me. I guess Leon was too nice. It seems I may have been the weak link that was holding them back. The Scheffleras were the best softball team I have ever played with.
Dave, you really nailed this, both the nature of the team, and the concept of playing for the joy rather the need to win. I played on a few other teams after the Other Guys disbanded, and there was much more tension both within the team and on the field. Eventually the fun was gone, and my playing days were over.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joel - Those were fun times playing with the Other Guys - I stopped playing softball at 50 when I realized my main goal was becoming to not get hurt....
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