Something's Coming

Something's Coming *

I was now working at Consilium, a software company in Mountain View, and living in San Francisco. Heidi and I were still living together but we were in the midst of breaking up. Heidi had decided to move out and was looking for a small studio and as such we started going our own way. Heidi was spending more time at her Mom's or at friends and I was spending more time down the peninsula as well as getting more involved with my co-workers at Consilium.

There seemed to be a sort of core group at Consilium. We, me and others who were hired around the same time, used to joke that they were the inner circle. It was more of a function of them having been at the company longer and had a common history of working and socializing together that we didn't share. My initial friends were Rama, Clem and Ismet who all started about the same time as I did, but soon I was engaging with others. As I started to participate in company activities I started to become part of the “group” but continued to see myself somewhat outside the core. I was not one for going out to lunch much as I usually ate lunch at my desk, but I did begin to attend a few group lunches. I also participated in a number of company functions such as the lunchtime wallyball games. I did the afternoon aerobic classes and I played on the company co-ed softball team. It happened that Kris, an attractive long haired blonde woman programmer, was usually involved in the same company activities. Kris was athletic, down to earth, with little pretension. She came across as a genuinely nice person. She was friendly and I was happy to be friendly back and so we ended up becoming work friends.

Kris is a very good softball player. She had played on a lot of teams, coached by her dad, when she was growing up. It was clear that Kris had been well coached as she seemed to always make the right play, more so that over 90% of the people I played with, men or women. In fact, the one time I thought she threw to the wrong base I was so surprised that I expressed my surprise out loud. Let's just say that I didn't score any points with Kris that day. I was never a power hitter but I was fast and I was pretty good at hitting to the opposite field if I wanted and got a pitch on the outside of the plate. I could hit from either side but after my time with the Scheffleras I learned that I was more effective hitting left-handed. I noticed that Kris's power alley was right center and in practice when she was batting I would often position myself in that area so I could catch her hits. It's kind of a tradition in practices where the person who's turn it is to bat runs out their last hit and so I would be in position to catch Kris's last hit. When I was up, Kris was often playing 3^rd and when my last hit came around I would often just dink a soft liner (liner is actually a generous term for my dink hits). Kris started calling me a wimp for the way I hit and so then I would make a point of dinking a hit just over her head where I could easily leg-out a double and sometimes even a triple. My hits were much softer than hers but the difference was I put them in a place she couldn't catch them whereas I was often in position to catch her much harder hits. If you are thinking that Kris probably purposely hit the ball my way and let me dink it over her head, you don't really know Kris. Kris is not one who feels she needs to play down to guy's ego.

In the meantime, Heidi finally found a place not too far away in the same general neighborhood and moved out. I don't remember how it actually came out but word got around that Heidi and I had broken up. A few of my Consilium friends asked me about it. One of those was Kris. Kris came into my office to tell me she was sorry about the breakup and asked if I would like to talk about it and suggested that we could go to lunch sometime. I responded positively but when we tried to find a day it turned out that Kris was booked and the one or two days in the next couple of weeks where she wasn't I was busy. Since Kris and I both played on the company softball team and lunch was not going to happen anytime soon, Kris suggested we get something to eat together before our next softball game. It was going to be a later game so we had some time to kill.

Softball night came and Kris and I got into our softball clothes and headed out to dinner at a nearby Japanese place. Now I am not much for Japanese food in general but I had learned a long time ago that when a nice looking blonde is interested enough in me to ask me to dinner the last thing I want to do is say or do anything that might discourage her. So when Kris suggested the Japanese place, I didn't suggest another place, I just said yes. Kris drove and I left my Nissan pickup truck in the Consilium parking lot. We had lots of time before the game so the thinking was we'd get some dinner and then return to Consilium so I could pick up my truck before the game.

We got to the restaurant, were seated, and ordered. Kris ordered some sort of squishy noodle thing and I ordered the teriyaki salmon. We started talking about all kinds of things, becoming fully engrossed in our conversation. Although we grew up on opposite coasts and were a little over a decade apart in age we had very similar backgrounds with very similar world views and it seemed nearly identical values. We talked and talked, completely losing track of the time. We made this deep connection. It was sort of just a normal conversation but it was somehow intimate, like we were in our own world. It's hard to describe but it was like that scene in West Side Story where Tony sees Maria for the first time at the dance and as they come together the whole rest of the place blurs and fades into the background, as if Tony and Maria moved into another dimension. We completely lost track of time and suddenly we realized it was very close to game time. We had to scoot. There was no time to go back to get my car, no time to talk about what just happened. We raced directly to the ball field and got there just as the game was about to start. Our coach was a bit stressed as we were not only two of the more reliable players but also two of the better players on the team and I was the pitcher. We made it but I'm not sure how “there” we really were. Well I'm not sure how “there” I was anyway. Being a night game it was of course dark out. The problem for me was I didn't have my glasses as they were in my truck that was back at the office. I have always had a little trouble seeing at night anyway and not having my glasses only exacerbated my problem. My memory is that it was foggy that evening. It probably wasn't as that would be unusual. It was more likely that I was in a fog after the dinner with Kris. As far as the game goes I remember that I pitched but had trouble seeing the ball off the bat and so I tried to compensate by anticipating where the ball would be hit based on where the pitch was so I could either attempt to field it or at least protect myself. I remember one play in particular where the batter hit the ball towards me but I didn't see the ball after it left the bat. Based on the pitch, I thought it would be a little to my left so I turned and started to head in that direction and as I stepped across my body with my right foot and lifted my left foot, the ball slammed into my left foot. I was actually moving away from where the ball was going. It must have looked like I was running away from the ball. Stunned I turned back and picked up the ball but not in time to get the runner. All I could do was laugh thinking about how ridiculous that must have looked. I don't remember anything else about that game. I don't know if we won or lost. I don't remember if Kris played 3^rd base, her usual, or left field. I only remember that my mind was shot, the field looked foggy, and I ran away from a batted ball.

Kris on 3rd at softball practice

After the game Kris drove me back to my truck at the office parking lot. I don't think we said too much. When we got there I looked over at her. I wanted to say something but didn't know what. I knew I wanted to see more of her but I was a bit older than her and I was in such a fog I couldn't tell if was just me. I didn't know what was going on with her, only that something had happened. We parted and I got into my truck and drove home a bit dazed. I knew something magical had happened, at least for me - but was it just me?

* Something's Coming: This is from West Side Story. It's the song that the character Tony sings prior to attending the dance where he meets Maria.