Kris and I get Married
Kris and I were getting married. The wedding plans were set. My brother Pete was to be my Best Man and Kris's sister Kathe was set to be, as like to call it, her “Best Woman”. Our plan was to not only marry in Sacramento but to also re-locate to the Sacramento area. There were a number of reasons we decided on this. The first and probably the most important reason was we wanted to buy a house. In the Bay Area I only wanted to live in either San Francisco (too expensive), Marin County (too long of a commute), or Santa Cruz (same commute issue). I actually owned a house in Sunnyvale with my brother at the time. My brother had been living in it but we were now renting it out as my brother had recently moved back to New York. That could have been an option. This brings up the second reason. Sunnyvale is right in the heart of Silicon Valley and to me Silicon Valley was more of a young single person's area and was maybe not the best environment for long term relationships, plus it was very suburban, something I have never been a fan of. I was not interested in living in Silicon Valley again. I'd done that already and it just didn't fit me which was why I moved back to San Francisco after a couple of years. We talked about a few places but we mostly considered Sacramento and Portland. I would have favored Portland but it has a bit more rain and at the time I wasn't sure how that would work for Kris. After all she had lived her whole life in sunny California. Of course now I know that Kris actually likes a bit of rain, much more so than me. We settled on Sacramento. It was in California, not too far from SF, close to Kris's family, and had some IT employment opportunities in the area.
So we planned to get married, change jobs and buy a house all within a few months. The common advice for couples starting out is to only do one of those at a time as doing them together puts too much stress and pressure on a relationship. Well, neither Kris nor I are very good at having someone else tell us what we should or shouldn't do. We decided to do all three at the same time and not look back.
Kris and I had begun to look for jobs and houses in the Sacramento area. I didn't really know Sacramento too well at this point. The homes seemed cheap after being in the Bay Area. My thinking was we'd buy something we liked with an eye towards being able to turn it over easily after we knew the area better and then move to an area that fit us. There was a new development up in Rocklin. Yes, Rocklin was a suburban community, but Rocklin was right next to Roseville which had a couple of hi-tech firms that seemed like strong candidates for employment opportunities and in my mind we'd only stay in Rocklin for a couple of years at most. One of the Roseville companies was a computer company and the other a semi-conductor company. Consilium, where we currently worked, produced the top silicon chip software product on the market so that seemed like a perfect fit and surely one of us would find work with one of them.
As the week of the wedding came around Kris went up to Sacramento to prepare. It was at this point it appears her subconscious inner doubts about me showed up as she got sick, quite sick. She was still sick as the wedding approached. My parents, with Pete, flew in a few days before the wedding. We then all drove up to Sacramento a couple of days before the wedding. A dinner was planned for our parents to meet each other. Before the dinner my father had asked me if I'd told Kris's parents that I was already a two time loser in the marriage game. I assured him I had. Kris willed herself to go. She made it to the restaurant, ordered but right after that she realized it was too much for her and needed to leave. I took her back to where she was staying leaving the parents to themselves until I returned. Kris missed the best part of the evening. At some point during dinner Bill, Kris's dad, looked over at me and asked me “How come at your age you managed to not get married before now?” My father then instantly flashed a look in my direction that was unforgettable. It was a look indicating I had flat out lied to him. He was clearly not happy. Luckily for me Linda, Kris's mom, spoke up and reminded Bill that they all knew about my previous history. Bill then laughed admitting that he'd forgotten. The after dinner conversation with my father told me he was not entirely convinced that Bill had just forgotten. On the other hand he did seem somewhat comforted by the fact that my past didn't seem to be a problem, even if his rotten son was a no count liar.
With Kris up in Sacramento, busy with wedding stuff, and not to mention sick, I had more time to search for employment. As a result I got offered a job first. Surprisingly to me anyway, I didn't have any success with the Roseville companies. My first job offer was with Los Rios Community College District. The offer came in the week before our wedding. I was still down in the Bay Area. The offer was so low compared to what I was making at Consilium that I wasn't sure it would work for us. It was only about 2/3rds what I was currently making. I couldn't get a hold of Kris and they pressed me for a decision by the end of the day. Without being able to talk with Kris (this is before cell phones) and not sure of the pay, and seemingly no option to wait a day or two, I had to turn them down. Funny thing is I ended up taking a job six months later at El Dorado County for essentially the same salary. Kris ended up getting a job with the Sacramento Bee, downtown. That contributed to us staying in Rocklin longer than I had anticipated. While Rocklin was not close to either job it was sort of in the middle. Our commutes were pretty much in opposite directions. As it turned out Kris would eventually end up working for, and eventually retiring from, Los Rios a few years later. The same place where I had been offered a position just before our wedding. Moving from Silicon Valley IT jobs to Sacramento resulted in us each taking about a 35% to 40% pay cut, but it all worked out.
Kris barely made it to the wedding rehearsal. She spent the rehearsal laying down on a church pew watching and listening while our friend and wedding photographer, Ben, substituted for her playing her part in the rehearsal. Kris assured me that she was going to make it to the actual wedding so I wouldn't have to marry Ben, who while likable enough, just wasn't exactly my kind. Kris did indeed show up for the wedding, well, at least what was left of her did as she lost a bit of weight. Let's just say that removing her wedding gown on our wedding night was not going to be an issue. She was still pale during the ceremony but seemed to pick up as the day went on and everything went great. The reception turned out nicely but it turned out that my most favorite part of the day was when we shared our vows to each other. I wasn't expecting that. A favorite part of the reception for me was near the end when my friend Frank pulled me into the bar to buy me a scotch. We sat down in the bar area looking out the windows. They looked out at the area in front of The Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament. It was a clear sunny day. The Shot of Class staff had turned on the outside speakers playing the song list I had made for the reception. Looking out I noticed that some people had gathered out in the K Street Mall and were listening to the music. They were sitting on the benches and on the steps of the church. Some were even dancing. Even the outside world was celebrating!
The whole thing went off well, Kris and I were officially married. Once the reception was over, we drove into San Francisco for the night. We both showed up for work the next Monday as our honeymoon was not scheduled to start until the following week. I know, a little unusual. While the reason we planned it that way had nothing to do with Kris being sick, it worked out well because that extra week gave Kris time to fully recover before we flew to Europe for a honeymoon of skiing in the Alps in Kitzbuhel, Austria.
I loved reading your story of your life! Keep writing. Your life continues and stories exist.
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