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My Favorite Typewriter

My Favorite Typewriter

Whenever I hear or see the word typewriter my first thought is always of Jerry Lewis doing that pantomime to the song aptly named “The Typewriter”. Of course I love music so it's common for me to associate all kinds of things with music. My Mom had an old Underwood typewriter. It sat in our den. It must have weighed north of 20 pounds, or so it seemed. This was the typewriter I used throughout high school if I needed to type something up.

That was a long time ago. Does anyone even have a typewriter any more? Do people under the age of 40 even know what it is? What happened to all those people who ran typewriter repair places? I was not good at typing, even though I took the subject in high school. I avoided it. Only typed papers when it was required. This, in spite of the fact that the American (QWERTY) keyboard favors the left hand and I am left handed. It was one of the few things related to school that was. Both reading and writing are more favorable to right handed people, even the desks were all set up for right handed people. Regardless, typing and I just don't do so well together.

There were 2 other typewriters in my life. A Remington, a new, less substantial typewriter I could take to college. It was a gift from my parents for my high school graduation. The last was a portable Olivetti I purchased after I got out of the Air Force.

It was the old Underwood that I used to fill out my college applications since the Remington was yet to make the scene. I applied to only 3 colleges partially because I hated doing the applications. I had a college prep meeting with my high school guidance counselor and my parents some time during my junior year. My adviser not so gently informed my parents that I may have a tough time getting into a good college because I was what he termed “a classic under-achiever”. Colleges did not like my kind. As soon as my Father heard those words (underachiever, not getting into college) coming from the guidance counselor's mouth, I received a look from my Father that was, shall we say, memorable. [ Don't like “my kind”? Hold on there mister, don't be so quick to run down us under-achievers. We are not all bad. And, I'm not just any old under-achiever, I'm a “classic” under-achiever. So sure I may be one, but it sounds to me like I did this under achiever thing well. Hey there Dad, enough with the stink-eye. You're the one who always says “Be the labor great or small, do it well or not at all”. Sounds to me like I nailed this one... ] So my parents, at least my Dad, sort of panicked and decided that I needed all the help I could get. After consulting with clergy and others it was decided my best bet, being Lutheran and all, was to apply to some Lutheran affiliated colleges. Under the impression that the state universities would be too hard to get into (low fees - many applicants). I did not attempt to apply to any of those. We (they) found some colleges that looked like they might work and narrowed it to three. The 3 schools I applied to were Valparaiso, Hartwick, and St. Olaf. We visited Hartwick since it was not too far away. They were very non-committal about my chances. My mother decided she did not like them. She could not understand why any school would not jump at a chance to have her son attend their institution. Unlike my Dad, who was a “classic underachiever” in school himself, I don't think she bought into my counselor's assessment. I kinda liked Hartwick, but it was on my Mom's shit-list and the assumption was I probably would not get in. I sent out my applications. I got the Valparaiso acceptance letter in a few days. Well that's the way it seemed anyway. It was like they sent the letter off the same day I sent in the application. So I selected “Valpo” because they were the 1st college to accept me and took all the pressure off about me getting into and attending college from my family. I ended up getting into all 3.

Back to the favorite typewriter: I liked my portable Olivetti but my favorite typewriter turned out to be something else. For Christmas one year under the tree was a large nicely wrapped present that had the shape of a typewriter. When I saw it, I was convinced that was what it was and I could feel that Christmas morning joy that I had looked forward to all year long head out the window. I was crestfallen. I was hoping for something else. So I opened all my other presents first, avoiding the eventual let down. My parents were anxious for me to open the big one I kept ignoring and were a bit surprised about me leaving it till last. That was out of character for me. Well I could only stall for so long and finally started to slowly open it trying to not show disappointment. As I opened it I realized it was not a typewriter but a nice phonograph, the very thing I wanted. Still my favorite typewriter!!!


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