What Is It You Actually Do?

What is it you actually do?

My Dad was an OR (operations research) engineer for the phone company. I'd been to his office a few times when I was growing up. From time to time I would ask him what he did at work. He would start to explain about the number of lines coming in, redirection, capacity, blah blah blah. I'd half tune out waiting for the part where he told me what he actually did but it never came. Then I would say yeah, but what is it you actually do? His reply of course was I just told you. I never got it.

When I'm told or see a sign to not touch or not do something it immediately makes me want to do it even if it's something I would not ordinarily do. This seemed to be true for everyone in my family. I know with my sister, the best way to get her to do something is tell her she can't. What is that about? Is that human nature or is it something odd about my family? It even shows up in golf. If my thought while striking the ball is don't hit left, I will hit left. In addition, if I think something makes sense or if I think something is a good idea or if I really want something I think I should be able to have I am not easily discouraged in my attempt to get it. I've been called a nudge, annoying, relentless, aggravating, and some other things as well.

After high school it was expected that I would go to college. I did not particularly want to at the time, but my parents insisted. Since I had no clear plan I complied. Applying to college is not a simple task. The application itself can be rather involved. There are fees, what to study, social environment, and affordability considerations. Lastly, for most of us, there is the will they accept me question.

The beginning of my senior year of high school I applied to 3 colleges. The colleges were chosen from a list that was created based on advice, or rather the negative view my high school guidance counselor held about by chances of getting into a good school. In his view, my getting accepted was going to be a challenge. My parents thought it would be a good idea to focus on Lutheran affiliated colleges since we were Lutherans. The winners: Hartwick College in Oneonta, NY, St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN, Valparaiso (Valpo) University in Valparaiso, IN.

The Valparaiso letter of acceptance came 1^st followed by St Olaf and then Hartwick. I got into all three! I guess those Lutherans really stand by their kind. I chose Valpo mostly because it answered 1^st and it answered quickly. I was anxious to relieve the pressure of getting into a college and anxious to get my parents off my back about it. It was also close to Chicago. I would have liked to have been in NYC or upstate NY but Chicago was supposed to be a big city too. I was thinking Valparaiso was a suburb of Chicago. No. Valparaiso was a small town - one movie theater, one pizza place, no diners, no delis, no night life, drinking age 21 (it was 18 in NY at the time). The town seemed to be culturally 10 years behind the area I came from. Oh, turned out Valparaiso was the former mid-west headquarters for the KKK – Yikes!

I didn't know what I wanted to do so I applied as a engineering major but switched to math as soon as I got there. I took Calculus of course, but had trouble understanding it. After a few weeks my teacher pulled me aside and said maybe this was not the course for me. I said “but it's my major and is the one subject I was really good at in high school”. I ended up dropping the course and switched my major, something I would do multiple times.

There was not a lot going on socially on campus either, unless you were in a fraternity or sorority. There was no night life in town. Colleges were still male dominated in 1967. Valpo was something like 4 to 5 men for every woman. Social opportunities with the opposite sex for a freshman male were limited. Of the 20 plus men on the floor of my dorm only 2 guys had girl friends and for one it was his high school girl friend. Only a couple of the others had as many as 3 dates total for the entire school year, most had none. In spite of all that, I returned to Valpo for my sophomore year. I pledged a fraternity and lasted only a week of the 9 week pledge cycle, but I managed to break their record for the most demerits received in a single week. We didn't exactly see eye to eye plus I kinda had that resistance to being told what I could and couldn't do thing. I ignored or did not participate in most of the brothers' shenanigans that I was evidently supposed to take seriously. The final straw was when they got upset because I missed a pledge meeting because I had a date. My completely reasonable defense: “Come on, who's going to pick a pledge meeting over a date?”. They somehow failed to see it my way. Well one week was enough. I ended up dropping out of school before the end of the semester anyway so I at least saved all those fraternity dues.

In hindsight, Valparaiso worked out well for me. I gained a lot of confidence in myself. I started to learn who I really was. I fell in love and met my future wife, Donna. Donna was a year ahead of me and also from the NYC suburbs. At some point we shared how we ended up at Valparaiso. Like me she was not keen on heading to college right out of high school. She put off applying to college and only decided to go the last minute. She picked Lehman because it was close to home but it was way past the deadline for applying. So she appealed to a special board that looked at special cases and got approved for acceptance. She subsequently transferred to Valparaiso.

After dropping out of Valpo, I got caught in the draft and ended up in the USAF. Three years later I was discharged a year early from my active duty commitment. I traded that year for two years in the Air Force National Guard out of Schenectady. I moved to Troy NY, which is by Schenectady in the Albany tri-city area. I applied to Hudson Valley Community College. Got right in. I think the only real requirement was the submittal of an application.

When I got close to graduating from Hudson Valley, I spent a month or so checking out colleges to transfer to. I got a 30 day Greyhound bus pass. I visited Amherst, the University of Wisconsin, UC Berkeley and the University of Oregon. Well, I did not actually get up to Oregon, because I spent too much time visiting with friends. By the time I was ready to head to Eugene, Oregon I only had 2 days left on my pass. Not enough time. I was in SF. I waited one more day and got on a bus back to NY and had to stay on the bus till I got there. That's 3 straight days on a bus for those of you counting. I decided to apply to both Berkeley and Oregon because I really wanted to go back to the west coast. Interestingly enough I got into Berkeley but not Oregon. Did Oregon just say no? Naturally I decided Oregon was the place for me. So I packed up and moved from Troy to Eugene a couple of weeks before the fall term was to begin to make them a new offer. I arrived in Eugene and got a room in a youth hostel. There was lice in the bathroom, so I decided not to use the bathroom. Luckily there was a gas station close by. Highly motivated, I found a more permanent place to live. I went to student services at the University and asked to speak with a counselor. I explained my situation to her, told her all the reasons I wanted to go to the University of Oregon and all the reasons I thought they should let me. I asked if there was a way to appeal or get an exception. The counselor was very encouraging and told me I should prepare a paper with all the things we talked about and present it to a board that would review my case. She said she would set it up. She did, I did, and I got in! I stayed in Eugene 4 years. I graduated with a Computer Science and Math(!) degree. I ended up getting my Bachelor's degree with math (hello Mr Valpo math professor) from the only college that rejected me.

I moved to San Francisco and started a new career in computer programming. My friends would sometimes asked me what I did at work. I would tell them and I would watch their blank stares. At the end they would ask “So what is it you actually do?” My reply of course was I just told you - they never got it.