Snap Judgments at 32nd and Alder

Snap Judgments at 32^nd and Alder

 3210 Alder Street in Eugene, Oregon

A trait of mine is I tend to make decisions based on a feeling. I am also usually quick to get a feeling about something or someone. I've learned to trust and go with my gut and I'm usually able to make quick decisions based on that. If you are someone I am going to like or dislike I will generally know it within the first few minutes of meeting you and it's all based on a feeling. I tend to be a logical thinker and I have excelled in areas that require analytical thinking but the truth is I most often react and evaluate based on feelings. Even as a computer programmer I would know I'd written a good piece of code because it would feel right. When an issue comes up or a question arises I will get a feeling that says to me what's right or not right well before I am able to articulate it. I find even after thinking about it and or discussing it I still land on the side of my initial feeling. This has mostly served me well over the years. This feeling thing works in lots of ways. It used to drive my first wife, Donna, nuts. I distinctly remember a time early in our relationship when we were in a Sam Goody's record shop looking through albums. I came across an album just released by Jeff Beck called “Truth”. It was his debut album. I didn't know who he was at the time. Yes, he had played with the Yardbirds and I knew of the Yardbirds, but I was not aware that he had been one of the guitar players that passed through that group. I picked up the album and told Donna I was going to buy it because I had a good feeling about it. She asked what I knew about it and I told her nothing but I had a feeling it would be good. She tried to talk me out of it but I bought it anyway. Well of course Jeff Beck went on to a long career in Rock and the “Truth” album became a seminal album. The band included Rod Stewart, “The Rod Stewart”, Ron Woods, more known as a member of the “Rolling Stones”, as well as Mick Waller and Nicky Hopkins who would both become known as notable musicians. The album also contained cameo appearances by Keith Moon (The Who), and John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin). It was a great album for its time and I still like it today. After we listened to the album Donna said she couldn't believe how lucky I was. Exasperating as this was for her I would continue to make decisions just based on a feeling that would work. She never stopped thinking I was just lucky.

OK, that ended up being a long lead into this next story of my time in Eugene. I moved out from the Barrington Gang and the Villard house and found a house to rent out on 32^nd and Alder. The house had 3 bedrooms and a two car garage that had been converted into a studio apartment. A guy I knew, Tom, told me about the house. He was living in the studio but he was going to be moving out in a few months. Tom introduced me to the landlord and vouched for me. The landlord lived in Eastern Oregon and rarely came to town. Because of that he was looking for someone responsible, someone he could trust to rent the house to. After chatting with me for a little while I was able to fool him into thinking I was responsible and he agreed to rent his house to me and my dog Nyshia. It probably helped that I was a little older as most people looking for places to rent in that area were students.

I moved into one of the rooms and started looking for roommates. The first person responding to my ad was Mark. Mark came by the house and we talked for quite some time. Mark had recently split with his long time girlfriend and was still trying to come to terms with that. We talked most of the afternoon away as he told me about the breakup and I related to his struggle and pain and shared with him the pain I still felt from losing my first wife Donna. I liked him and had a good feeling about him and he agreed to rent one of the rooms in the house. I had been wanting to head out of town for a couple of weeks before school started up again so I decided to leave the decision of our third roommate up to Mark. Seemed reasonable, I pick him so now he could get a chance to pick someone. I left town leaving the roommate decision in his hands. When I returned I found Mark outdid himself. He not only found me that third roommate but a new second on as well. While I was gone Mark got an opportunity to move in with one of his friends. With his current struggle of trying to get over his old girlfriend he thought that it would be a good idea to move in with an established friend, or at least an improvement over moving in with me. I knew I shouldn't have told him so much about me... Mark and I would go on to become good friends and we are still good friends today.

Mark on U of O Campus

The two guys Mark found for me were Rick and another Dave. (Rick was not going to have too much trouble remembering our names.) Both Rick and Dave were graduate students. Rick was from back east and frankly I don't remember where Dave was from. Dave was a couple of years older like I was, in fact, I think he might have been a year or two older than me. I got a good feeling about Rick and we connected right away. Dave and I, not so much. My initial feeling about Dave was not a good one and this is maybe an example where relying on my initial feeling was perhaps a disservice. Dave did not go out much and seemed to be home in the house all the time. I found myself not wanting to be around him and consequently I started spending a lot more time in my room. Dave liked to talk. Once Dave started a conversation with you it was hard to easily disengage. I did not enjoy talking with him and avoided it as much as I could. In fact I found myself not wanting to talk with him at all. I found him boring and also a little strange, the kind of strange that maybe you didn't want to get too close to. Dave's favorite evening activity seemed to be the following: He'd buy 3 quarts of the cheapest malt liquor he could find and drink them down. He'd then put on some loud music, light some candles, and strip down to just a pair of shorts, or even just underwear, and dance around the living room, sometimes holding a spear. I don't know how to describe the music but it was not pop music but was rhythmic with lots of drums. It was a sight to see and a sight to avoid all at the same time. I'm sure Dave found me as strange as I found him. I really never gave him a chance. That initial bad feeling ruled. Whenever he asked me something about me or what I was doing I would give an answer that I thought would most quickly end the conversation. It didn't have to be truthful, reasonable, or even make any sense. The only criteria was that it be the quickest path to end the conversation. I kept my distance and made sure he kept his.

I was not very nice to Dave. I was a bad roommate to him. I wish I had been more tolerant. Dave was different but it was not like he was a bad person. He was just very different from me. Yes, he talked too much and what he talked about didn't interest me but then I didn't help by keeping the conversation one sided. I have a difficult time letting myself engage with someone who I immediately get a bad feeling about. Perhaps he'd have been interesting if I'd given him a chance, or perhaps not. The thing is I slammed that door the moment it opened. I like to think of myself as pretty open-minded as well as a mostly nice person, but times like that remind me that I could do better.