Toujours Eugene

Toujours Eugene

A last lunch with Frank - an expression of my thoughts about leaving Eugene

Eugene was the first place I lived other than where I grew up on Long Island that I thought of as home, and in some ways I still think of Eugene as home. My decision to move to Oregon was partially based on talking with some people I knew from Oregon along with a long strange weekend I spent there up in the hills somewhere east of Medford. That was my lone visit to Oregon and it was when I was in the Air Force stationed at Beale AFB in Northern California. I picked the University of Oregon in Eugene strictly on faith. My research included a write-up about it in a book titled “The Underground Guide to The College of Your Choice”.

When I arrived in Eugene in 1974 to attend the University there I had never seen Eugene and did not know anyone who lived there but I was eager to claim Eugene as my new home. My first impression of the town and University was positive and I found it easy to adopt Eugene as home. I planned to make Eugene my permanent home, not just during my school years.

I grew up a suburban kid and as a young adult I gravitated towards an urban environment. Growing up in the New York City metropolitan area my definition was of a city was New York City and that's where I envisioned myself living. My time living in California, while I was in the Air Force, changed that. I gained an appreciation for a more rural setting. I still was not interested in suburbia but was now interested in maybe a less urban environment. Eugene was considered a city but it was not a big city and it was rather small to me. Eugene had a fresh air, connect with nature feel about it. It was bigger than a small town but was still small enough that it was easy for me to feel part of the town. The local politicians were visible and more than just a name or a picture in the paper. I'd see them around town. I knew the homeless people on my side of town.

Eugene had a strong liberal slant due to the university but the area also had a conservative presence from long time residents, the valley farmers, and the logging industry that dominated the state's economy. However, all sides were interested in protecting the land which resulted in bringing everyone together on some environmental issues, but it also divided them on others. One nice thing about Oregon for me was even though there would be disagreement on issues, there wasn't a lot of that angry combative intensity I had become accustomed to in the larger metropolitan areas of the country.

After living in Eugene I not only stopped chasing after lost time but I slowed down more than I ever had before. Living in Eugene I backpacked, recycled, joined co-ops, did yoga, took up running/jogging, ate a vegetarian diet, did lots of hiking, visited hot springs, stopped wearing a bathing suit, and used a bike as my primary mode of transportation. I learned to conserve resources, share my possessions, exchanged the hand shake greeting for a hug and it was in Eugene where I engaged with the gay community. I realized I likely had friends who were gay before Eugene but I was not really aware of it. This was the first time that community became part of my world too.

I resisted leaving Eugene when I did but I was running out of money and felt I needed to get a serious job after all I was almost 30... That was not going to happen in Eugene. Eugene/Oregon is the only place I moved from where I was truly sad to leave. I really did not want to leave so I kept delaying my departure. Even after I had packed up my truck and moved out of my apartment I lingered for a few days staying with various friends. When I finally did leave I was depressed for a few weeks, and I am someone who's rarely depressed.

When I think back on my time in Eugene there's so many memories. There's Nyshia, Cyd, the Barrington Gang, Frank, the river, the hot springs, the Cascades, etc. I felt part of the community, had close friends, and even though we no longer shared a residence there was the Barrington Gang who seemed like family to me.

I have had many homes. They include Long Island in New York where I grew up, San Francisco, and now Sacramento. I spent 18 years on Long Island, 10 years in SF, and over 20 in Sacramento. They have all been home, but Eugene, where I lived for just 4 years, feels like home more than any of the rest. Eugene has a special place in my heart. I don't miss Huntington (Long Island), I sometimes miss SF, but I always miss Eugene. I loved living in San Francisco and would have liked to have stayed there when Kris and I moved to the Sacramento area but leaving SF didn't depress me like leaving Eugene did. Leaving Eugene was leaving home. Eugene is somehow deep inside me and it has a hold on me that the others don't and I really can't explain it.