The One and Only Bill Chambers

The One and Only Bill Chambers

Me and Bill

As of this moment I have technically had three fathers-in-law. The first one did not like me at all. The second tolerated me, I think. We had pleasant exchanges but never had a meaningful conversation. But the third, my current father-in-law, actually likes me or at least he acts like he does. I'm not sure if this was because I improved with age or I improved on selecting fathers-in-law, or my current father-in-law is just extremely kindhearted. Well it's not likely the second since my selection criteria in all cases was based solely on their daughters.

I met Bill in the fall of '86. My girlfriend at the time, now my wife, and I drove up to Sacramento to visit him, I think it was Thanksgiving. When we arrived he had just finished vacuuming the carpet in his townhouse. Now you may be wondering how I managed to remember such a seemingly insignificant detail like that. Well, Bill is rather meticulous about things. When he vacuums he is very careful to vacuum in a straight line so that the nap of the carpet is perfectly lined up. It looks a little like the freshly mowed outfield grass at a professional baseball park. It actually pains him when visitors like me walk on his carpet disturbing those freshly vacuumed lines. I'm the type of person that would not even think about how the nap lays on the carpet while vacuuming. As far as my vacuuming goes, let's just say that my relationship with our vacuum cleaner is surely not what my wife hoped it would be. This is one of the differences between Bill and myself. Another is Bill is very good at keeping in touch with all of his friends. He keeps in touch with his high school friends, his college friends, his work colleagues, and everyone else in between. Me, not so much, I seem to have a talent for losing touch with everyone from my past and it seems none of them are unhappy about it.

However, Bill and I have many things in common. We both love baseball and are Oakland A's fans. We both like history (Bill was a history professor at American River College). We both like to play golf. We both have a good sense of humor (if you have me for a son-in-law you need one). And of course we both are very fond of his daughter Kris.

Bill and I got along right away. It's hard not to feel comfortable with Bill. Bill is affable. Bill likes to tell stories, and they are mostly quite interesting, especially the first time. You can tell when he's about to tell one because he'll generally begin with the phrase “I'll never forget...”. One of Bill's most admirable qualities is his ability to laugh at himself. That's a very likable and under appreciated quality to have. If you think about all the people you know, being able to always easily laugh at oneself is not all that common. Many of us can laugh at ourselves sometimes but it's few who can do it in most any situation and Bill is one of those few. He does this as well as anyone I have ever met. I love that about him. It makes being with him easy. Sure, like everyone, he has an ego and he can be proud but he never seems to let that get in the way of his dealing with others. He is caring, patient, engaging, and generous. Bill is one of my favorite people even if he is my father-in-law.

I saw him just a couple of times before Kris and I decided to get married in the fall of 1987. After we married we relocated to the Sacramento area. We bought a new house that was still being built. Bill offered to put us up at his townhouse until our house was finished. It was supposed to be just for a month but you know how that goes, it ended up being more like 5 and to Bill it probably felt more like a couple of years. But he never complained. I had Fridays off and Bill had Friday afternoons off so we started playing golf together every Friday. Bill belonged to a golf club, in fact, he was the current president of the club. It wasn't long before I joined the club too.

Bill was an English major in college. He will notice things like spelling, grammar, and pronunciation mistakes. Actually, Kris's whole family is that way. My family is not and, like me, other than my mom we are not so hot when it comes to spelling. When Kris and I were staying with Bill I would sometimes leave him a note when I went out letting him know where I was and when I might return. I noticed little red “sp” marks on some of my notes. I finally realized he was correcting my spelling. This next part I think will be news to him as I don't think I ever told him this. (So Bill, you can now skip to the next paragraph.) After awhile I'd sometimes purposely make a spelling or grammar error so he'd have something to correct. As bad as I spell I probably sometimes actually corrected an error I'd already made but I'm sure that didn't happen often. Was that mean? I don't know. Sometimes my sense of humor can be a little too much. It made it fun for me and if you can't entertain yourself who can you entertain?

(Bill, you can start reading again here)

Back to Golf: People just liked playing golf with Bill. Everyone I knew liked playing with him. He was very popular in the club and he was also very popular with his son's (Mike) friends. He just has a way about him and he remembers everybody. He treats everyone kindly and he is very encouraging unless of course you are about to take a shot that could potentially beat him. He can be quite competitive, but not in an obnoxious way. I played a lot of golf with Bill over the years. We played regularly together. We played in club tournaments and also regularly with a group of his friends. You can learn a lot about someone playing golf with them. Golf is an individual sport and as such when mistakes and bad shots happen there is no one to blame but yourself and few of us are very good at blaming ourselves when it comes to golf. Not only that all the other people you are playing with get to see your screw-ups as well. It can be humbling and worse it is highly aggravating. Everyone loses their temper at some point playing golf. You get to see all sides of a person by playing golf with them. So Bill has seen the worst side of me, more than once. I have actually yelled at him a few times over the years. If he was just my father-in-law that may have been a problem. The thing is Bill is more than that to me. He is my very good friend. I feel very fortunate to know him in that way. We have done many things together from attending baseball games, to wine tasting, to going on vacation, just to name a few.

Bill is sentimental and very family focused and he puts family, particularly his kids first. Even though I am just an in-law he treats me as if I am more than that to him. I can even talk to him about Kris and he listens without taking sides. Kris and I don't have any real problems but that doesn't mean there aren't times when we are frustrated with each other. Bill's sage advice is usually a chuckle and a “well that's Kris” or “well, it used to be me, now it's you”.

There may have been alcohol involved

Bill had to stop playing golf a couple of years ago. Bill absolutely loves to play golf and it has been a difficult loss for him. Most of his golf buddies have had to stop playing as well because of health or that other thing. Many of his golf buddies over the years ended up being my golf buddies too and as a result I've ended up without anyone to play golf with anymore. I don't play much golf these days. I don't miss the golf too much. It no doubt helps that I also no longer play it at the level I used to. What I do miss is golfing with Bill. It's not the golf it's the one and only Bill Chambers that I miss, I love the guy...