Still Married But I Get a New Job

Still Married But I Get a New Job

My brother Pete had come out West and had temporarily moved in with us in Sunnyvale. He soon found a job. He also enrolled in Heald Institute of Technology. It wasn't long before he made some friends and found an apartment and moved out. Pete would frequently come by the house, often with a a friends or two, mostly Frank. Frank and Kathy got along well so it made it easy to have them come over and hang out but now it was just Kathy and I alone in the house again.

My work life was about to change again as my job at Siegel was about to end. There was a downturn in the semiconductor world and Jon's number one client was a semiconductor manufacturer. They were forced to cut back and as a consequence,Jon's business was way down. He was going to have to make some cuts and with me being the last one in I was going to be the first one out along with his admin person.

Jon spoke with me informing me of the situation letting me know that unless something changed in the next couple of week he was going to have to let me go. He asked if I had any leads on getting some contract work from GBS. I didn't and I was not interested in going back to that. In my mind I was thinking “If I'm finding the work as well as doing it all I might as well contract with them on my own.” I would someday do just that but I didn't at this time.

Two weeks later I was out of a job - I guess our talk was my two weeks notice. I had not really started to look thinking I had a little more time but now I had no choice. I contacted the headhunter I'd worked with in the past. She was now the Mayor of Benicia, but she still worked part time as a headhunter. We got along very well and she knew me well enough to know the kind of places I would fit with. Tymshare had openings for programmers. They were close by, just down the road in Cupertino, and she got me an interview. I interviewed with 3 managers of the programming staff. I liked them. The company was of good size with hundreds of, maybe even close to a thousand, employees. They seemed stable and I liked what they had to say. At the end of the interview when they asked if I had any questions, I said “I'd like to work here. What do I need to do or say to get this job?” There was a brief moment of silence and then one of the managers, Steve, who would become my boss, said “Let me put it this way, if you are interested in us, we are interested in you”. Two days later I got a call with a job offer. I accepted and I was re-employed in just a week.

Tymshare was a fun and funny company. They were pretty big but the company tended to function as if they were still small. It was informal and the structure was somewhat minimal. You could step out of your area like in a small company. Even though it was big, the departments seemed to get along. You could approach anyone from another area of the company for help and not step on anyone's toes. For instance, I could walk over and solicit help from any systems programmer or any HR worker without having to clear it through their manager. Many big companies would have had a more formal policy for that. The company had a family feel and like most smaller Silicon Valley companies there was a lot of socializing together outside of work.

My boss Steve was a fun guy to work with. He had done a little stand-up (comedy) when he was younger so he had a great sense of humor. He was knowledgeable and pretty much a no-nonsense guy all of which made him easy to work for. I soon got to know people from all over the company. Given my struggles at home, this was a welcome situation and I happily join in with the after work activities whenever I could. Silicon Valley companies had lots of young people and there was lots of socializing among the staff and being married did not seem to be much of a hindrance for more than a few. This was also the 80's and both booze and drugs were quite prevalent. A few women inquired about my marital status and there were also a few to whom it didn't seem to matter. Now I didn't do anything I shouldn't have but that doesn't mean I wasn't tempted. The temptation was another indication of how much my marriage to Kathy was not in a good place.

I eventually had a close call, but it wasn't with the Silicon Valley crowd. That fall we were invited to a Halloween party at my friend Larry's up in the city. Kathy refused to go but reluctantly told me I could go since Larry was my good friend. As the party started to wind down I was talking with a woman who lived on the south side of the city not far from SF State. She didn't have a car and her place was more or less on my way home. I offered her a ride. When we got to her place, she leaned over and lightly kissed me. She then nicely invited me in. Under different circumstances I no doubt would have gladly accepted. I resisted, said goodnight, and drove back home. I can't say for sure, but I have often wondered if I might have gone in with a little more urging on her part. I'm glad that didn't happen but it was just one more indication that my marriage to Kathy was in deep doo-doo.

Time was moving forward. I had already spent three years in the military putting my life on hold. This wasn't really like that but it was kind of similar as I was doing a lot of just going through the motions and it was not working. I started entertaining serious thoughts about ending my marriage with Kathy and began to realize it was only a matter of time.