Checkers with Andre

 Checkers with Andre

My mom heard someone talking about the NYC Fresh Air Child Program on the radio one day. It was a program that finds host families for children from inner city under served communities. A host family takes in a child from a poor family for a week or two over the summer essentially providing a child a sort of summer vacation with a family in the suburbs or the country. Mom inquired about the program and she and my father decided to host. The organization asked my mom what kind of child she was interested in and she asked for a boy near my younger brother's age. My brother was probably around 9 and being 9 and a half years older that would put me at 18 or 19. I was a freshman in college at the time. They asked her if she had any preferences in regards to race or ethnicity. My Mom asked which kids they had the most trouble placing. The answer, not surprisingly, was black children so my Mom said she would like a black child.

So that summer Andre from the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn came for a visit. For a young black kid coming into a completely white environment he was quite out-going. One of the first things he told my brother was how to protect himself out on the streets. His sage advice was to find an old empty bottle with a neck you could grip, like a soda or beer bottle, and break off the fat end so you could use it as a weapon. Right away it was obvious how different our lives were. First, that would be over-kill in our neighborhood as the worst thing that might happen to him in our neighborhood would be someone wanting to fight him just using their hands, and even that would be unlikely. Second, you would not likely find any soda bottles lying around our neighborhood. . He may have been on a vacation but he was about to see “white privilege” and white suburban racism in action.

There were 6 or 7 kids that were around my brother's age that he would play with at that time. Most of them loved to play sports, particularly baseball and they would regularly play that at the end of our street. Sometimes I would play a little with them, basically acting as a designated fielder for both teams and act as an ump. Some of the kids looked up to me as I was the oldest kid on the block at that point. When they saw Andre they were initially a little standoffish but they soon discovered that Andre was more than up to any challenge they might present to him and more importantly he was a pretty decent little ball player. He was not better than the best kids on the block, but he wasn't much behind, so they let him join in. Unfortunately this lasted for only a day or maybe two. Once some of their parents found out about Andre some of the kids were forbidden to play with him so he, as well as my brother soon found they were excluded from all the games. The only upside was my brother was not much for playing baseball and was not always included anyway so they found other things to do together. Our family was quite surprised that our friends and neighbors reacted so strongly, although we probably shouldn't have been. Suburbs in general are conservative and our county, Suffolk, was particularly so. My parents were politically moderate leaning to the liberal side. A few of the others were too but they were clearly in the minority. Even so, the reaction was quite upsetting.

My brother found himself rather isolated while Andre was with us but they had each other. Andre was challenged by a couple of the neighborhood kids but once they saw he had no problem being challenged, or rather was more up for the challenge than they expected they backed right down. Like I said I was 9 years older so I was off doing my own thing most of the time and did not really see what was going on with the kids my brother's age so there is likely plenty more to tell.

Andre was very dark skinned. I remember going into my brother's bedroom one night. The lights were out and it was very dark and when I looked over to the bed Andre was in all I could see was his eyes. He was quiet and mild mannered, but he watched and payed attention. He picked up things fast and was not easily intimidated. He was a smart little guy. Andre liked to play checkers. So I played a game with him one evening. Being so much older I thought he would not be much of a challenge for me. Heck, I could regularly beat all my own friends most of the time. Kids younger than me I could generally play rather casually and still win easily. Andre beat me. So the next game I paid more attention and he beat me again. I realized I had to fully concentrate on the game in order to beat him and even then I did not always win.

It wasn't long before it was time for Andre to return home and our little safe, white neighborhood returned to normal. We all enjoyed his visit and were all wiser for the experience. My mother didn't let the neighborhood racist attitudes deter her and she had Andre return for another stay the following summer. However, I was not home as I'd been drafted that spring and was sharing sleeping quarters with 40 other guys in Mississippi.

When I think back about Andre, I can't help but wonder what kind of a vacation that was for a young black boy to be placed in the home of a white family living in an all white suburban neighborhood. Andre lived in a poor neighborhood with probably few if any white people. For all the problems there, he likely wasn't looked on as less like he was in our neighborhood. I didn't know or think to ask but now I wonder was that his first exposure to racism. He got a week with a family who has luxuries that his family couldn't afford but it was also in an area his family would not be allowed to move into even if they had the means merely because of skin color. After a week or so with us he was sent back to live in poverty. On some level it felt like we were flaunting our white privilege. I hope it was a good experience for him. I don't really know, but what I do know is it was good for me to get a small taste of our racist attitudes here up north because the message we, in the Northeast, all grew up receiving was that this was just a southern problem. In that sense I think I got more out of his visit than he did. I was 19 and of course I knew racism was not limited to the south, that it was nationwide. At college I had befriended a black woman from Washington DC. We often hung-out together and had a number of discussions on race issues. I intellectually knew racism was a serious American issue but knowing and seeing it up close are two different things. I basically lived in an all white world and Andre's visit made that very clear to me. I needed that splash of reality.

Seeing my neighborhood's reaction caused me to reflect. It really brought home to me that we all have been exposed to and infected with the disease of racism, and that goes for myself and my family too. I was taught in school that a fundamental principle our country was built on is we are all equal and all deserve freedom. Our country's promise, our vision, of everyone being free and treated equally under the law is an admirable quest but it has yet to be achieved. Our policy continues to be one of denial and we still refuse to take ownership of our sins. I find the continued push back that follows every time we try to take even the smallest step forward so disappointing. When I was younger I was hopeful and thought we could someday overcome this but sadly our nation's progress in this area has been so slow that at times I wonder if we will ever overcome this. Regardless, it's become painfully clear to me we will not get out from under this in my lifetime. I hate that!