From The Other Guys to The Irving Club or How I Became a Women's Softball Coach
Playing with the other guys was a bit of a switch. Under Leon's tutelage, I had been well trained when and where to back up plays as a pitcher, particularly for throws coming in from the outfield. Unfortunately, some of my Other Guys teammates had obviously attended a somewhat different training program and as a result they often threw to one base while I was backing up another. After a few games it became clear to me that I just needed to back up where they were going to throw and not factor in where the base runners were going or might go....
I was having fun playing with The Other Guys for a season or so, when some of the women at the Rec Center, some of them girlfriends of the guys from the men's team, decided to start up a women's softball team and asked me if I would coach them. I don't know why they picked me. Maybe it was because I was their last hope, or maybe it was because I seemed harmless, or maybe it was something innocuous as my New York accent that I still carried around with me even after being out of New York for 15 years. The only time I had coached a softball team, and for that matter any team was the co-ed team Frank and I put together in Eugene in a sort of hippie, non-competitive softball league. I had played a bit of ball over the years and I've always been someone that people seemed to trust although I don't know why that is. I was flattered that they asked me and replied that I would but I wanted to meet with them first to find out what their expectations were.
At the initial meeting we discussed everyone's expectations. I tried to explain what they could expect from me but that I needed guidance on how they would like the team run. We talked about things like: How much did they care about winning? Did they want me to play the best players all the time, or did they want me to play everyone equally, or something in between? They expressed a desire towards equal play as much as feasible. We also discussed if they wanted me to assign positions or leave it to them? How would they like me to handle situations like multiple people wanting to play the same position? Do I split the time between them or play the best person? They thought it would all work out and would probably be some combination of fit and desire. They didn't want anyone's feelings to get hurt. The guys teams I played on, fit always overrode desire. So, they'd like to play to win while trying to play everyone equally. They wanted me to pick who plays where but also try to accommodate everyone so that no one's feelings would get hurt. All very nice but I could see that this may be more challenging than I initially thought.
As I remember it, the original team members included Becky, Rita, Susan, Colin, Betsy, Lisa, my girlfriend Heidi, I think Maureen, Amy and Michelle. Amy may have joined the second season but she may have been there from the beginning too. There were a few others whose names I don't currently remember. Many of the players had not played on an organized softball team before. However, many of them were good athletes and they had all played some recreational softball. My girlfriend, Heidi, probably had the least experience but her sister Debbie was a good player and had played a bit of organized softball. So through Heidi, Debbie joined the team. Mary, Monica and Darlene all joined a little later. Early on I worked with players on some of the basic stuff, like getting in the right position, backing up, where and when to throw the ball in from the outfield. I remember working with Amy on how to best field a ground ball in the infield. This was around 40 years ago so my memory is a bit sketchy.
We started having some practices. One thing I remember attempting to explain to a couple of the team members was what constituted a hit. For those who hadn't played much ball they thought any time you hit the ball and made it safely to first base or beyond it was a hit. Why did another base runner being out factor in? Calling it a error rather than a hit made no sense either. The goal was to hit the ball and get on base and if you accomplished that, what does it matter if someone misses the catch or makes a bad throw or some other runner gets out? They had good arguments for the error part and it caused me to wonder myself why errors mattered so much in baseball, on the offensive side. The only two things that really mattered were outs and bases. Error schmerror, getting on base was the thing: On base, “Good!”, making an out, “Bad”. I'm thinking this kind of discussion could have been what started the sabermetrics craze...
We were able to secure a sponsor, The Irving Club. The Irving Club was the name of a bar in the Sunset district and hence, that became the team's name. We had a few practices and then the games started. I remember a number of the players showed up less than 5 minutes before the start of the first game. I remember fretting that we might have to forfeit. I had neglected to stress how important it was to arrive early so they could both warm up and allow me to submit the batting order in time. Our original team had Rita at short, Lisa at 2nd, I don't remember who was at 3rd , maybe Colin. Maureen played 1st. Debbie, Becky, I think Susan, and Heidi were in the outfield, although Susan may have been our pitcher but Michelle also pitched. Catching? If any of them happen to read this they can correct me on this. We did decently but once Amy, Darlene, Mary and Monica joined the team we became one of the best teams in the league.
One of the umps for some reason decided he didn't like our team. I overheard him referring to us as “that lesbian team” in a very derogatory manner. He made a number of very bad calls against us, one of them I feel cost us the league championship, basically wiping out our game winning rally. His most blatant bad call was a play at first where Maureen had the ball in her glove but she was on the ground just off the base. She leaned over with her non-gloved hand and touched 1st for the force out. The runner was still a step or two from reaching first. The ump called the runner safe. I spoke with him saying Maureen clearly had touched the base ahead of the runner. He said the runner was safe because the ball was not in the hand she tagged the base with. I was a bit stunned by his reasoning. After a pause I said well she usually touches the base with her foot and her foot's not holding the ball either. He was clearly not happy with my comment. What could I do? He didn't want to hear anything I had to say and was clearly not going to change his call.
Between the men's leagues, the co-ed leagues, and the women's leagues the city softball fields were busy and the women's games were generally assigned fields in the lesser, more out of the way neighborhoods for their games. The city did build a nice women's only softball field. The problem was they put it in the Hunter's Point neighborhood, which just happened to be in the worst part of town. It was not an area where a woman would feel safe walking around unaccompanied particularly after dark. We tried to make sure no one had to go to their car by themselves and fortunately there weren't any incidents.
Ken, who was the coach of my men's team, The Other Guys, started helping me with the women's team. After a year or two Heidi and I broke up and I started going out with Kris. Kris joined the team. Kris was a very good softball player and was one of the best players on the team. I could see where there could be a conflict of interest for me, especially if Heidi was still going to be on the team, so I turned over the head coaching responsibilities to Ken and I became the assistant coach. The Irving Club was a good team, I liked all the women on the team and enjoyed coaching them. I have fond memories of the experience and feel honored that they chose me to become their coach regardless of the reason.
Dave- thanks for the walk down memory lane!! Loved those softball/rec center days!! Best to Kris♥️ Rita
ReplyDeleteThanks Rita!
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